ON AMBITION

We had a production meeting for our improv group last night. One of the things we discussed was forming a "production crew" to work on sketches and scripted videos for the group. While the idea was debated, it ended up that yes, we are going to have a more-formal crew managing ideas for sketches and the like.

I am less enthused than one would think. Yes, I enjoy writing sketches, and yes, I enjoy acting in them. (Note: Brad's acting may not resemble actual acting. Come to think of it, his writing may not resemble actual writing either.) But this is an idea that has been kicked around the group since before I joined (July of 2007). So I don't really have high hopes.

It seems like we have great ambitious ideas; the execution, however, leaves something to be desired. Passing out flyers promoting the group every week? It lasted two weeks. Doing road shows and festivals? We've had two outside gigs in the past six months.

I also think it's a vicious cycle. Veterans of the group see and hear the enthusiasm of newer members and, while it isn't a conscious decision to stifle the creativity, it happens, because we've failed on these things in the past. Because of that, when the newer members become veterans, they squelch the dreams of still-newer members. It is, to adapt a phrase from Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, an "ambition trap."

Not that this rests solely with the group. I'm guilty of not following through on my own ambitions. For example, I could very easily register a domain name for myself and work on creating more web content (with some actual humor). While flying home last week, I developed the full plot for a young adult novel. The whole thing. Characters, conflicts, marketing plans. But the overwhelming odds are that the notes I made on it won't make it off of the back of that airsick bag, and that it will go on the scrap pile of fallen ambitions along with the Terrible Serial Story, my "Senior Walk" movie script, and ever french-kissing a girl.

On the plus side, I successfully referenced an obscure part of a book that was popular thirty years ago. And I've also already completed my New Year's Resolutions. So I am doing something with my life! Woohoo!