ON MORAL DILEMMAS

Yesterday afternoon I had a craving for a Sprite. As the vending machine on the first floor of my building is empty, I headed up to the deserted third floor. Seriously, there's no one up there. I took twelve dimes and one nickel to pay the ridiculous $1.25 for a 20-ounce bottle. I pressed the Sprite button. And the display read "SOLD OUT."

Slightly disappointed, I decided a Coke Zero would be fine - better, in fact, because of the zero calories. I pressed the Coke Zero button and a bottle fell down. I reached down to get it and heard the whirring and clunking of the machine dispensing a second bottle! I removed my first Coke Zero and the second one that followed it. Bonus! What a great day!

I wanted to see what else was sold out - in case I got any other cravings in the next two weeks, before the machines are refilled - and pressed the Coke button. WHIRR-CLUNK! WHIRR-CLUNK! WHIRR-CLUNK! WHIRR-CLUNK! WHIRR-CLUNK! WHIRR-CLUNK! That's right - a total of SIX bottles of Coca-Cola came out! Well, I was riding high at this point and went through every button on the machine, obtaining one Diet Coke and two bottles of Dasani water. Total investment: $1.25. Total obtained: Eleven (11) bottles of various cold drinks. And THEN I pressed the "Coin Return" button - just for kicks and giggles - and it gave me back five quarters! Total investment: ZERO!

I was elated for a short time. Sure, I'd drink the Coke Zero I originally purchased. But the rest of it...how is this different from stealing eleven cold drinks from a Walgreens? And I tried to rationalize it, I really did. Here are some of my thoughts:

* $1.25 is too much for a bottle of soda anyway
* It's the Coke Guy's fault for not adjusting the machine correctly
* If I save them, he'll probably just tell me to drink them anyway
* It's a reward for not getting the Sprite I really wanted

But the angel on my other shoulder chimed in:

* Stealing is stealing, no matter the cost
* You are a role model whether there's anyone here to see it or not
* Eleven cold drinks do not add up to one Sprite - that's just dumb
* Just think how smug you can be for acting morally

Well, I do love being smug. So I went down to my apartment and got a bag, headed back up, bagged up the bottles and five quarters, and brought them down to my office. When the Coke guy gets here in a few weeks, I'll give them to him. If he tells me to keep them, great. I'll have done my due diligence and will enjoy the drinks that much more because of it. If he takes them back, of course I'll be disappointed...but still smug!