ON THE WRESTLER

I went to see the film "The Wrestler" yesterday. And while it was very good, no one's going to be calling it "the feel-good film of the year" anytime soon. It was heartbreaking on a variety of levels - but well-written, well-shot, and well-acted. It's tough to totally quantify this movie, other than to say that I enjoyed it very much, but don't want to watch it again anytime soon.

Few people who know me now know that I seriously considered going into professional wrestling after college. I got as far as looking for apartments in the area of wrestling schools in Baltimore and St. Malden, Massachusetts. Ultimately, I decided to move back home and continue to explore the possibility of pursuing it as a hobby. A month after graduation, a disc in my back ruptured, and I gave up any chance of pursuing pro wrestling at all.

Despite this, I still followed wrestling pretty close until about 2004 or 2005. I have read all of Mick Foley's nonfiction, and the Chris Jericho book was also good. Both were stories that showed the highlights a pro wrestling career could get to. Conversely, I have watched "Beyond the Mat" and MTV's "True Life: I'm a pro wrestler" more than once...both are, like "The Wrestler," heartbreaking.

Despite this, despite all of these terrible stories about broken-down ex-wrestlers, a small part of me still wonders what it would be like to get in the ring and throw around a superkick or two. In fact, if I ever win the lottery, I plan on saying that one thing I would do with the money would be to pursue the WWE Intercontinental Title, just because I think I could be on one show for cheap mainstream publicity for the WWE and me...

WRESTLER: You think you've got what it takes to get in the ring and mix it up?
ME: I do.
WRESTLER: You have no idea what it takes!
CROWD: Yay!
ME: I don't need heart or dedication...
CROWD: Boo!
ME: I've got MONEY.
WRESTLER: (clotheslines me)
CROWD: Yay!

LOCAL NEWS ANCHOR, THE FOLLOWING DAY: ...and finally, a local man died tragically yesterday when his spine disintegrated after a clothesline from current WWE Women's Champion...