I have a small comfort zone. For example, I am familiar with a limited number of foods, and I know the "type" of food I like and the "type" of food I don't. I have no desire to try, for example, fried clams, because they don't seem like the type of food I would like. I am much more comfortable eating popcorn chicken (which seems like the analogous chicken dish), so I will always take that over fried clams.
Recently - or maybe not so recently, as I really examine my life - friends have strongly encouraged me to leave this comfort zone. Not only when it comes to food (although I suspect that was where the most recent round of encouragement BEGAN - the idea of "trying new foods"). The comfort zone my friends wish me to leave/expand is my dating comfort zone.
I hate this idea. I don't want to leave my comfort zone because it is, by definition, comfortable. And the opposite of comfortable is uncomfortable, which is no fun.
Despite my myriad objections, I gave into the pressure and agreed to accept help from my friends. They have offered to work on my opposite sex-communication skills, to encourage me to meet people I wouldn't typically approach, and then to date people I maybe wouldn't date without prodding. Why did I allow myself to be badgered into this? Maybe it's my take on Newton's First Law again - that I am in one place, comfortable but not necessarily happy - and need a nudge to get rolling again. Maybe it's because I subconsciously WANT to date girls I wouldn't typically date but need a reason to do so. Also, having friends encourage me allows me to blame them if things go horribly awry and I wake up in a bathtub full of ice missing a kidney. Or maybe it's just that I know it makes my friends happy to believe they are helping me, and that I am willing to help myself. And I guess it's possible I agreed to this because I believe it's important and good for me to expand/leave my comfort zone?
Or, it's possible that the song by No Use For A Name finally got to me:
What would the worst thing be
If you took the wheel and lost control?
No one is safe inside your safety zone.
In any event, the Summer of Love starts Sunday. Fried clams...maybe those can wait until the Autumn of Batter-Dipped Seafood.
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3 comments:
Brad, you're a smart man. "Leaving your comfort zone" is foolishly often referred to as simply a good thing, when it is not neccessarily always one.
Example: Breathing air is comfortable to me. Should I breath water instead?
No, I would die.
But of course, sometimes leaving your comfort zone will help.
This post kind of puts out the idea that you are dating a very specific type of woman in general, that it is not working out well for you, and that we'd like you to expand your horizons.
This is sort of true. Except for the "you dating women" part - which is the part we want to make happen.
The reason I post is this:
The Summer of Love has a lot to do with confidence as well. The cute girl at Walgreen's you've had a crush on for months - you've never asked her out. Is it because she doesn't fit your type, or because you need to move of your comfort zone in a VERY different way than you're putting forth here?
I guess I just feel like you could liken this post to "I'm fine with getting a C on my paper, and my crazy teacher is trying to move me out of my comfort zone because he knows I can get an A. I'm comfortable with a C!"
Brad - you can get an A. Let's do this.
I was "Anonymous". I tried to type in "Chuck Staton" and hit the enter key with my (poorly controlled, apparently) pinky.
Woo hoo for the Summer of Love!!
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