ON INDEPENDENCE DAY WARS

I believe it was the summer of 1996, just before my 18th birthday. I and my pizza-making friends decided to have a "bottle rocket war" in the woods. After spending a hundred dollars or so on fireworks, and much more in scratch-off lottery tickets, we headed out.

Our battleground was the woods near the pizza restaurant where we all worked. There was a "bomb shelter" back there (I have no idea what the original purpose of the structure was, but it COULD have been a bomb shelter at one point) and that served as our home base. And although the ground was littered with beer cans, none of us had anything to drink that day - just a lot of fireworks.

What, you ask, is crazier than ONE bottle rocket with no stick? Try TWELVE. We'd leave the "heads" of the rockets in their packaging and break off all the sticks. Twist the wicks, light it, throw it up - ideally, they ignite while falling, covering a maximum area of ground. Dangerous? Probably. Stupid? Yes. Fun? Absolutely. [Note: we called them "Shih Bombs," after our good friend Dan Shih, who allegedly invented them.]

But bottle rockets weren't enough for us that year. We decided it would be a good idea to get Roman Candles to shoot at one another. Essentially, we were shooting balls of fire at one another - for fun. No eye protection or anything - just fireballs flying through the air. Fortunately, no one got hit all afternoon, but it wasn't for a lack of trying on anyone's part.

Oddly enough, our fake war led to a real sense of acrimony as we all accused each other of hogging all the best fireworks - and by "best," I mean "most dangerous." For as much as I didn't understand arms proliferation on the world stage (and still don't), I certainly got a glimpse into it on that 4th of July. And while I get significantly less enjoyment out of fireworks than I once did, the urge to throw a Shih Bomb at someone comes up every once in a while.