ON HYPOCHONDRIA

I won't sit here and pretend that I'm often sick. Thinking back to my youth, I didn't miss a day of school other than a campus visit between seventh and twelfth grade. I didn't take any sick time for work during the four years I was at Walgreens or the two years at Arkansas. And since I've been here, I've probably missed a combined two days due to illness or just needing to sleep.

It's weird when I do get sick - I hate feeling bad, but I also hate admitting I need help, so I am loath to actually go to the doctor. However, when I get just a little sick - a headache, or my current stomach acid problem - I assume the worst. I spend an inordinate amount of time trying to figure out how to tell my family how I developed the brain tumor that I am sure is causing the headache. Then I go to bed, wake up, and feel fine. (Note: I would love to send my family a singing telegram to break the news.)

As to my current deal, in which I feel like I am always full up to my throat and don't want to eat, I checked WebMD and it listed some possible awful things for me. Instead of going to a doctor for further tests, I just follow the treatment advice on there for whatever disease I self-diagnose. It's a terrible path, and certainly not the right one, but I apparently will go to great lengths to not go to the doctor (I also don't completely understand how insurance works, and what they actually pay for).

So I struggle on, a little under the weather, but unwilling to seek treatment, finding comfort instead in the weight loss that I have no doubt will accompany this all-oatmeal diet. Honestly, if it's still bad tomorrow, I'll go to the doctor, but until then - Zantac should take care of things, right? That's what their commercials would have me believe!