I had a topic I was going to write about today ("On Making Moves,") but chickened out, as I know family members read this occasionally. I guess I live in a world where I don't want my mom reading how the new Weezer single impacts my move-making strategy.
It's a challenge for me, balancing honesty (which is important) with appropriateness (which I evaluate as "appropriate for my family"). For example, our Mexico City Standoff Video, filmed in the spring, has two F-bombs in it. I don't say them, I didn't write them, but still felt very odd showing the video to my parents. In the new video (due next week!), my character has a few off-color lines. I don't want my family seeing that, either.
As I was waiting for the director and DP to show up yesterday, I realized how my life is basically somewhere between the character Bradley Stevenson (featured in LAST summer's video, as well as the one that's due next week) and the stage name of Brad Roar! (exclamation point not my idea) Truthfully, I'm not 100% the conservative fun-hating always-for-decency person that Bradley Stevenson is. I'm also not the up-for-anything-on-stage performer that Brad Roar! is supposed to be (During any of our "Naughty Bits" shows, I was just as R-Rated as anyone, if not more so). Speaking of performing, I was always very nervous about my parents seeing me perform in Chicago, as I had no control over the topics the group explored. Working in a PG-13 group has relaxed my anxieties on that front.
In any event, I always feel like I'm holding back with one side of my personality or the other. I use very conservative terminology (or skip stories entirely) in my weekly update so as not to offend my Arkansas friends or make them think less of me (the reaction when I described a girl as "cute...but possibly a stripper" was much stronger than I thought it would be). Conversely, I am loath to speak to my less-conservative friends about ways in which their lives could be less...controversial (although I'm honestly having a hard time thinking of examples right now, as my less-conservative friends are typically more live-and-let-live - I guess I did get a fair amount of grief when I decided not to date a girl because of differing religious views [among other things]).
The truth is that I'm somewhere between Bradley Stevenson and Brad Roar! As I strive to live with more congruity between thoughts and actions (and words), I know there's going to be moments of discomfort as I try and figure out how to express myself in a manner that is both honest and appropriate and, every once in a while, actually entertaining. Also, that Weezer song is great.
1 comment:
Also having a hard time figuring out ways your less-conservative friends could have less controversial lives.
I mean, MAYBE I shouldn't interrupted Taylor Swift at the MTV Awards, but other than that, I can't think of much controversy.
Everyone has that balance. And maybe the perception of us "less-conservatives" is a little off. I suppose I'm fairly liberal with their parents (I'll swear in front of my parents - but never a swear you could't say on television, except maybe an occasional "s**t") and never any sexual innuendo, which sounds to me exactly what you described as your relationship with yours. I have the same reluctance when they want to see work I've done, and I try to limit it to what I feel is the closest to PG-13 territory, to the point of making them edited CDs of my band.
After a somewhat sad (for me) exchange with my mom about going to the Senior Discount movie premiere (okay, it wasn't THAT sad: I told her I didn't think she should go, as the movie is pretty rough, and at first she was sort of offended that I didn't want her to go, then sadly said "You know what? It's your night, and I don't want to ruin it by being there if it's going to make you uncomfortable.") I, of course, let her go - with one exception; she left the theatre for Dirty Facts (which is heavily sexual).
Besides that, the movie isn't actually that rough. Yes there is four seconds of screen time for some feces, and a minute about vomit (and it's really barely vomit - it's all either food-colored water or mayonnaise). I'm positive there are a few swears, but I'd be willing to be there's an extremely low amount compared to any other R-rated comedy. Not very rough.
But yeah - I can't really think of the controversy in the 'less-conservatives' lives. I almost wish there was at least SOME controversy in my life sometimes.
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