ON HALLOWEEN:

My most vivid Halloween memory is from when I was sixteen or seventeen. None of the delivery drivers at the pizza place wanted to work, so I volunteered, despite having little or no delivery experience. And you wouldn't think that it would require a lot of experience...

The night started off well, but as it went on...blugh. I was supposed to take a pizza to "Edgewood," a subdivision in one town. I took it to "Edgewood," a street in a very different town. I got lost two or three times - in a row.

This was in the days before omnipresent cell phones. Before GPS systems in cars. Before I had any clue to read a map, apparently. Anyway, I came back after the third time I got lost and - I felt terrible about the entire night - went in the walk-in cooler and cried in frustration (I've always been an easy crier. Always. It's one of the things I would change about myself if I could.). After I got cleaned up, we got an order for a pizza with everything...plus anchovies. Despite it being Halloween, we saw nothing wrong with this, and I delivered it as directed.

It was, as you may guess, a prank, and not a real order. Buoyed by the fact that people still have a sense of humor, I was fine for the rest of the night. But looking back - it was a pretty terrible Halloween. I was "banned" from delivery for the rest of my career there (although I did put in a delivery appearance over one of the breaks my freshman year of college).

I guess that's the solace I can find in any Halloween. Even if zombies rise tonight and evil spirits take over for the night - at least I'm not trying to deliver pizzas in Northwest Indiana.