ON COMPLAINING

I love getting free stuff. Last night, a group of us went to see "The Hangover." The movie was very funny, but an apparently tipsy woman in the back laughed obnoxiously and talked through much of the movie. A friend went to get an usher - and she shut up when the usher was there, then resumed her prattling when he left. Finally, another patron (possibly) threatened her and she was quiet for the end of the movie.

Of the fourteen of us, zero were happy with this situation. We eventually found a manager and lodged our complaint - namely, that nothing had been done by cinema staff to shut this annoying woman up. The manager listened to us, made a few weak excuses, then offered us all free "re-admits," or tickets for future movies. It was a smart move on their part, as it ensures that we all will come back in the future (and, presumably, spend money on concessions).

As a former manager, I always gave people what they wanted, with probably two exceptions coming to mind over a four-year career in retail (one woman was seen by our staff stealing the condoms that she later tried to return with a receipt she found in the trash). I knew that it was the best way to deal with an upset customer, especially when they were upset but not being a jerk about things.

I've tried to limit my jerkiness when dealing with frustrating customer service situations. Sure, once I swore at the staff of a Buffalo Wild Wings, but other than that, I've tried to be calm and follow protocol. When the McDonald's near campus messed up my order, I very calmly drove it back and waited in line until I could speak to a manager. They fixed my order and gave me coupons for future purchases (that I never used). Had I done what I wanted to do - throw the burgers at the windows, smearing ketchup and mustard all over the place - not only would I not have gotten any of that, I probably also would have had the cops called on me.

I have also gotten free stuff from Papa John's. And a hot dog place back home. And at least three other restaurants I can't think of the names of. The point is, it pays to complain, as long as it's done calmly and rationally and not angrily. If being calm and rational fails, there are always other options.

Or, you know, this.